VATICAN CITY, ROME - 4/19/05 - There was a moment of uncertainty in Rome today among the crowd gathered in front of the Sistine Chapel shortly after several puffs of black smoke rose from the chapel’s chimney. Black smoke indicates that the 115 cardinals locked inside have failed to elect a new pope, while white smoke signals a successful election.
But as the crowd was beginning to disperse, several shorts wisps of white smoke appeared, eliciting a collective gasp from the crowd and then a hush as all eyes turned to the chimney, waiting for a more conclusive sign. Then, a small, sleepy groundhog emerged. Some in the crowd began to cheer, while others strained forward, looking for the groundhog’s shadow. Shortly thereafter a small flock of white doves flew out, followed by an eagle with an asp in its beak. This was followed by a flying pig and then several short puffs of grey smoke, whereupon some in the crowd broke into a rain-dance, while others began wailing and speaking in tongues. Finally, wearing identical white tuxedos, author Philip Roth and entertainer Dick Clark climbed out and stood atop the chimney. While Mr. Roth frantically waved a white flag, Mr. Clark solemnly held up two glowing lanterns. The two then kissed and threw rice, condoms and mardis gras beads at the crowd below.
There followed utter pandemonium. Some in the crowd clapped and sang, while others lay on the ground and clawed at their chests. “God damn it!” exclaimed Reilly Kilgartengen, 37, a priest from Ireland, as he flipped open his cell phone to call home. “My hotel is 460 euros a night!”
Asked for comment, Vatican officials said they would begin work to determine the meaning of the signal and would release a detailed statement later today.
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